"Wives, be subject (be submissive and adapt yourselves) to your own husbands as [a service] to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife as Christ is the Head of the church, Himself the Savior of [His] body. As the church is subject to Christ, so let wives also be subject in everything to their husbands...
However, let each man of you [without exception] love his wife as [being in a sense] his very own self; and let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband [that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, venerates, and esteems him; and that she defers to him, praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly]." Ephesians 5:22-24, 33
Is that not a mouthful or what?? This is the basis for having a Godly marriage. It is certainly a tall order, but it is indeed possible if we allow the Lord to guide our hearts, minds, and souls. As our Creator, He knows how He has designed both man and woman, and it is with a purpose in mind.
Marriage is a beautiful, poetic, and symmetrical reflection of the relationship we have with the Lord. God loves us, and because He does, He gave His life for us. In response to that unselfish love of placing us even before His own life, He deserves our respect and reverence. He is a Father and a Husband to us regarding our relationship with Him.
Similarly, in a marriage, the father and husband (the man) is commanded to love his wife and lay his life down for her as a show of that love. In recognition of that sacrifice, the wife is commanded to reverence her husband.
How many times do people fight against this? How often is it that we pretend being "free in Christ" means being free from the commands in God's word? There no longer being "male nor female" in Christ does not mean there are no longer distinctions, but that there are no longer divisions in Him. Yet, there still remain roles He has designated for each, and again He does this for a purpose.
"Wives, be subject to your husbands [subordinate and adapt yourselves to them], as is right and fitting and your proper duty in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives [be affectionate and sympathetic with them] and do not be harsh or bitter or resentful toward them. Children, obey your parents in everything, for this is pleasing to the Lord." Colossians 3:18-20
What God has outlined in the covenant of marriage is what is needed to produce a godly seed (Malachi 2:15). This not only is true for physical seed, but spiritual seed as well. The family is a reflection of the Godhead (Ephesians 5:32), so perverting the nature of family by default results in a perversion of God.
Yet as society has walked further and further away from that which is Godly, many have rejected such "traditional roles". I say that unless we return to the old pathways and follow what God has prescribed, then society will continue to reap what has been sown: rebellion, chaos, and anarchy (Isaiah 3:12).
A sister in the Lord recently shared some insights that she uses in her desire to reverence her husband. I thought they were right on point and am sharing them here in case they edify you as well.
Things To Keep In Mind About Reverencing Your Husband
- He is my priority next to God in my life, not other relationships, children or friends.
- I seek counsel from him first before my pastor or anyone else.
- I do not interrupt him when he is talking.
- I do not correct him in front of others. If the error is not life threatening, I wait to talk to him about it when we are alone.
- I do not make jokes at his expense.
- I encourage my children to honor him and I do not undermine his authority...either in his presence or in his absence.
- I do not reference him as one of my children.
- I try to focus on the things that are important to him and not the things that aren't. This way, I don't have wonder whether he appreciates what I do.
- I make him a priority in my day and try to be available & rested for intimacy in our relationship. Being tired all the time is not a good excuse.
- I do not allow my family members (parents or siblings) to speak disrespectfully of him
"IN LIKE manner, you married women, be submissive to your own husbands [subordinate yourselves as being secondary to and dependent on them, and adapt yourselves to them], so that even if any do not obey the Word [of God], they may be won over not by discussion but by the [godly] lives of their wives, When they observe the pure and modest way in which you conduct yourselves, together with your reverence [for your husband; you are to feel for him all that reverence includes: to respect, defer to, revere him--to honor, esteem, appreciate, prize, and, in the human sense, to adore him, that is, to admire, praise, be devoted to, deeply love, and enjoy your husband].
Let not yours be the [merely] external adorning with [elaborate] interweaving and knotting of the hair, the wearing of jewelry, or changes of clothes; But let it be the inward adorning and beauty of the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible and unfading charm of a gentle and peaceful spirit, which [is not anxious or wrought up, but] is very precious in the sight of God. For it was thus that the pious women of old who hoped in God were [accustomed] to beautify themselves and were submissive to their husbands [adapting themselves to them as themselves secondary and dependent upon them]. It was thus that Sarah obeyed Abraham [following his guidance and acknowledging his headship over her by] calling him lord (master, leader, authority). And you are now her true daughters if you do right and let nothing terrify you [not giving way to hysterical fears or letting anxieties unnerve you]." I Peter 3:1-6
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